Talking to our children and expressing unconditional love to them is so important for their wellbeing and development.
The words our little ones hear constantly create their inner narrative. There’s a big difference between “I love you, be careful” and “I love you and I believe you can.” As they grow up, it can make the world around them feel like it is filled with dangers to avoid or on the contrary challenges they can rise to.
Expressing unconditional love strengthens our bond
When a child feels loved unconditionally, he knows that no matter what happens his parents love him and that he is worthy and deserving of love.
What I find beautiful about unconditional love is that it strengthens that tie between us. It’s like a net under a trapeze artist at the circus. No matter how he falls, it’s there to catch him. Likewise, my son can always trust I’ll be there for him no matter what happens at school, in life, or even between us. He already knows I’m not perfect, but he understands that whatever I do for him, I do it out of love and that’s so important for our bond.
With unconditional love, kids are more confident
The way we talk to our children is how they learn to talk to themselves. In other words, if we use expressions that reinforce self-doubt and fears, that’s something that they will carry with them. So instead of “don’t get hurt”, try “don’t be scared, you got this!”
As a result, our children can grow to be more daring, adventurous, and tenacious. For one, he knows that if he fails, he’ll still be loved. So there’s less fear of failure. Second, your child will be more trusting of his instincts and decisions. That means he won’t rehash and doubt himself as much. He will grow to be more self-confident!
15 Things to say to your child to express your unconditional love
Our words are powerful! Here are 15 ideas for how to express your love, strengthen your bond, and build your child’s confidence.
1. You are so loved.
2. You are so important to me.
3. I got you, and will always be here for you.
4. You tried so hard just then, I’m proud of you.
5. You can do anything you put your heart into.
6. That’s really interesting, tell me more.
7. I can tell you worked really hard on this.
8. I’m so proud of you. You should feel proud too.
9. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out.
10. How did you come up with that cool idea?
11. Super! The way you solved that was really creative.
12. I love hanging out with you.
13. I’m so grateful for you.
14. I’d love to know your opinion about…
15. No matter what, I will always love you.
As we take the time to rethink the words we use to express our unconditional love, it’s interesting to note how it also affects our vision of the world. After all, we use the words we learned from our parents. So it might also be a great time for self-reflection and letting go of narratives we grew up with that don’t serve us.
Want to dive deeper into the topic of confidence? Check out my previous article: How to build self-confidence in a child?
Until next time, Tania xx